doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
