when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I understand Curling. That high.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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