i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
