Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
