Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Your cock deserves a montage
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
