i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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