my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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