i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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