Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
