I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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