i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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