I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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