I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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