before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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