it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
