my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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