shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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