The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
