Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
