found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Randomize
