Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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