Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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