It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
