Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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