Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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