If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
