He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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