He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
