dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
