after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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