so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
