so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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