I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
