Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
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I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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