I love black thongs
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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