i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
