When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
