Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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