if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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