My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
