You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
