we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
