dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
