all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just had sex on a roof
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
