she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
