the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
