I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
