Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
