She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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