We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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