I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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