Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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