Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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