I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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