She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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