I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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