My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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