when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
