I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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