perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?