You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
