Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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