Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
