We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
